 |
|
You are not logged in Log In Your Profile Your Messages Your Notifications |
|
| The Moderator Message Board >> View Post |
|
Subject: Fingertips |
"Hey, my Biz Nitches & girly Girlfriends! Welcome to another episode of Tricked out Whips! This be ya pal X to the B to the S: XzibizShawn, your Pimp Master of Sara-Moan-E's." The host said with a few gyrations of his pelvis. "Now, y'all know you can't get any fly honeys or any of those delisiouso boys in a wacked out hooptee? I sure hope y'all do. If you do, what good are ya? It explain: It would be like that wearing plaid & stripes after Labor Day! It's just simply not done! This little quandary happens to be vexing our super cool friend of the day: Jason Froikin! He's scrumalishious!" The host said with a great big smile on his face & gave a big thumbs up to the camera. He then began to laugh to himself. Our Host, who is the only openly Gay Rapper, walks over to ultraviolet blue car. "We are here to fix up his not so scrumalishious '06 Mitsubishi Eclipse." X walked around the car, taking it all in. He spent some time looking at the trunk. "Hmmm.. Quite large back here." He said with a laugh. "I bet you could fit in a nice sized Hot tub in here." The Host turns to the camera & says "Lets get Jason so can get crack-a-lacking." *Click It was a dark & stormy night when he came to town. But of course it was always dark & stormy at night or it wouldn't be night. It would be bright, happy sunshine day with rainbows & Mushroom leprechauns! "Man, do I hate this place. I don't know why I come here. Maybe becuase it's the only thing around in this barren wasteland of City" Our trenchcaoted hero thought ot himself. Under aftermentnioned coats was a tanktop proclaiming our heroes love for the Paris Hilton (The building, not the person. Or maybe it is the peson not the building). Then, it starts to rain. Not a normal rain but an abnormal rain, you know what I mean. The kind of rain that only happens in Pop Songs about rain. Our Hero just happen to forget his Umbrella, ella, ella, ella, a, a, a, a, a, a! "Ah, crap on a stick." he said. "That will be 4 dollars, sir." said the Crap on a Stick sells person. Her is name Ja Nancy according to her name tag (but her name could have been something else like Purple or Amanda. Names tags can be mis leading). Ja Nancy was dressed in the typical Crap on a Stick uniform: a bright yellow & bright red in color one piece Muu Muu. She looks like a dork & that's why they make them wear the uniform (Plus, they are quite fashionible in Peoria). Ja Nancy works at one the many Crap on a Stick booths that dot the cityscape. The man gives Ja Nancy his 4 dollars & she gives him the meaty goodness that is Crap on a Stick, it's actually not crap but a meat like substance that looks & smells a bit like crap. Yorgie Von Pootermeiner from the Austro-Hungerian-Swedish-Asian block of Canada came to America in the mid 80's & has spread the joy of Crap on a Stick to the whole country. You can't turn around without stepping in or on Crap on a Stick. Our hero takes a bite of the Crap on a Stick, it's good. Kind of nutly like a Hazzelnut or a Filbert or a Religious Nutbar! There was also a hint a hint of beer to it, cheap imported domestic beer. Our hero starts tries to think about what his friend said. "Guess what I got in the mail today ? Guess ?" No, that wasn't it. "I like Cheese!" That wasn't it either. "Does this look infected to you?" No. "I'm a little teapot." No. "Please incert another 25 cents for another 3 minutes." No. "Go & find The One. The One with a glass eye made of plastic! They well show you the way to eternal Framdation!" Yes, that was it. Eternal Framdation, the secret to the puzzle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a connudrum wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a freshly made corn tortilla that our hero has been trying to figure out since he woke up on the cold winters' morn in the middle of June, it was an odd summer that year: The MugBugs only ate 5 children that year & not the normal 28. Our hero wonders the streets looking for The One. The One with a glass eye made of plastic! Where will he find The One. The One with a glass eye made of plastic!? So lost in thought he didn't notice the large fiber glass pole made of Fudge in front of him, he directly walks into it. He falls on his butt, car keys & the worlds smallest Accordion player. After a millenia, he looks up at the pole, on the top was a neon sign, The One. The One with a glass eye made of plastic! He has found The One. The One with a glass eye made of plastic! Or at least a sign for The One. The One with a glass eye made of plastic! He turns counterclockwise & to the southwest. There he sees a bank of televisions all tuned to the same network. They were showing a presidential debate of some sort between G. Dubya Shrub, the current president & his opponent, Shawn Carney. "I served my country in Be it Nam & got shot in the buttocks 47 times by Marble Commies." Said Carney. "Well, I was part of the National Air Guard's Mile High Club during Be it Nam. I shot a lot of heroin during that period of time but am now over my addiction to it." Shrub said as he was being controlled like a sock puppet marionette by Rick Chiny, the vice president/Zombie Underlord. Our Hero turns his attention to something else. Like the shaved walrus dancing the cha cha while eating a taco that was reading the Wall Street Journal. "Can you help me, mister?" said a small girl dressed up in a outfit similar to a ballet dancer. "Sure, what's you name?" "My name is Sarah!" she said then sucked her thumb. In her other hand was a light blue blanket. "Well, Sarah. What can I do for you ?" "Save me from the Masked Murader." Behind our hero was a man dressed in a black cloak & nothing else. "Are you the Masked Murader?" "No, I am the Cloaked Wonder but he is the Masked Murader." The Cloaked Wonder said as he pointed to a man, a man who looked to be like hero but not. Wait, The Masked Murader was nothing like our hero. "I am the man you seek, for I am the Masked Murader!" He said. He looked like if Zorro was a space cowboy & then became a midget with the sex appeal of a beautiful female super model who had the IQ of 140 & had 3 breasts. Plus, had a shark for head. "Well, MM. I swing my poo bag in your general direction!" Our hero said as he flung a handbag full of poop at the Masked Murader. The Masked Murader picks up a sausage & stabs the bag with it. The bag then falls apart, the poop flies everywhere. "Take that." "I did. Consider it taken." The Masked Murader & our hero fight for what seems like millennia but it was only five minutes. Alot of matrix like moves happen. Our hero comes out victorious. "That was good but can you survive the dreaded Yurt!" yelled a small gorilla. He was dressed as mailman & was smoking a cigar. He was holding a small barbie doll in his right hand. Then, our hero & Sarah were trampled under the the small dwelling made of two Nuclear bombs, some small branches, a few twigs & half a cheese danish. *click* Chocolate Brains! Watch your insurance rates sky rocket due to massive Zombie attacks! Chocolate Brains! *click* "Oh, I'm sorry. You need to answer the clue in the form an intrepritive dance. Lars, please cut of Contestant Number 2's right pinky." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *Click* I like Cheese. It feels good in my pants. *Click* Tonight on "Your Mom": we make fun of your mom! *Click* "Welcome back, folks to Veal or No Veal. Before the break, Chondra was down to 3 plates of mystery foods. She's hoping the one she choose back in 1985 is the Veal dish. So, Chondra which dish do you want to eliminate next?" "Dish 13!" "Let's see what it is? Oh, it's a Million Trillion Gazillion Dollars. That's a good sign. It wasn't the Veal & No, you can't have the money." *Click* I love fishes because their so delicious & they won't judge me like my Mom does! *Click* "So, Mr./Mrs. Cartwright: We preformed the sex change opperation last week, how's it going?" "Fine. But, I was wondering if you could put all my stuff back. I don't like being a ManLady." "I'm sorry we can't do that. Most of the unused parts have now been tossed out with the bathwater & half a cheese danish." "But, I have this new iPhone." "Doesn't matter. Your stuck as a ManLady." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *click* Cluck, Cluck, Moo. Cluck, Cluck, Moo. Cluck, Cluck, Moo. *click Do you like Air? Is breathing one of your favorite past times? 1 + 1= What? Am I not wearing any pants? If you answer most of these question Yes, then you may some day become a Turkey with psychic powers. *click* This Thursday, Thursday, Thursday in the Alleyway behind that really fat chick at the Red Lobster! See Danni California vs. Hannah Montana in a no holds bar none fight to the life! Be there! Be there! Be there! Free shotguns for the kids! *click* meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. moop. You here that? That's the sound of the last generation dying of old age! This is MTV 8, where the Music is! We play at least 1 music video maybe more about once every lunar cycle. *click* Do you like MMORPGs'? If so, why? *click* This is Nightline. *click* Boobs. What are they, Where can we find them & how may we touch them? That's tonight's topic of Nerd Channel 105 Investigates! *click* I'm a pretty girl. Pretty girl. I wear dressies. I bite the heads of chickens & spread AIDS. I love Fall Out Boy! *click* Farts. Everyone makes them, why don't you? *click* meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. meep. moop. You here that? That's the sound of MTV 9 dying of old age! This is MTV 10, where the Music is! Our next video is of a large Kommodo Dragon throwing up a Camel's legs, it's set to Hilary Duff's latest hit "Barfed up Camel Leg". *click* Why don't you like me? If you flipped the channel, I'll kill myself. *click* ".. and so I says to Mabel: Mabel, I says, you stuff the doorknobs in the Turkey with psychic powers before the roasting porcess not during. Then, I killed Mabel with a...." We'll be right to Martha Stewart in a moment, but first a word from out sponsor. *click* This conludes our Broadcasting day. Tune into Short Attenion Span TV Tomarrow for more of the same. |
Posted from U.S. Network
using Apple Safari/MacOS X | |
| |
| Generation-3™ v1.0 beta © 2003-2008 Powermad Software |
